Seven Deadly Sins: Day 7 - Lust

My birthday is this week, and so I decided to take time off from thinking real hard and give myself the gift of Star Trek, Chinese food, and vodka. That means that instead of real content, you get this Seven Deadly Sins internet meme. Enjoy!

Seven love secrets:

1. My first celebrity crush was Jonathan Brandis of Neverending Story II and Seaquest DSV fame. I even forced myself to sit though what was quite possibly the worst movie ever made just because he was in it.
2. My first boyfriend was a friend of my neighbor's that I met when I was in sixth grade. He was the "guitarist", in the loosest sense of the word, for their band, the Flaming Skulls. This was the first of several forays into dating dudes in terrible bands.
3. Boyfriend and I met while he was a Bartender and I was vying for the title of Most Long Islands Drank While Remaining Upright. Memorieeeeees.
4. We skipped over most of the discussions that you're supposed to have in adult relationships. For instance, we never talked about "moving in". He just brought his Playstation over one day and never left.
5. We have pet names. He calls me Kitten and I call him Muffin. If you just threw up in your mouth a little bit, that makes two of us.
6. Dirty sex talk is my worst nightmare. I find it awkward and weird and feel automatically embarrassed for anyone who does it. If you ask me to talk dirty you're going to get a diatribe on rest stop bathrooms and ear wax.
7. Terms that I totally can't handle: "Make love", panties, coitus. Gross.

Want to play along?

Seven Deadly Sins: Day 6 - Gluttony

My birthday is this week, and so I decided to take time off from thinking real hard and give myself the gift of Star Trek, Chinese food, and vodka. That means that instead of real content, you get this Seven Deadly Sins internet meme. Enjoy!

Seven guilty pleasures:

1. Shows about people who are trainwrecks, eg. Hoarders, Intervention, Real Housewives of Whatever.
2. Chocolate pretty much anything. Cake? Yes. Candy? Yes. Milk? Yes. Ice Cream? Yes. Just yes yes yes. Once at Dairy Queen, I got this thing that was a bowl of chocolate ice cream, topped with a chocolate brownie, chocolate fudge and crushed Oreo cookies. I got a large, and put it out of its misery in about 5 minutes. And I loved it.
3. Voooooooooooodka! (imagine these with Oprah's intonation)
4. Whiiiiiiiiiiisky!
5. Cheeeeeeeeeeeese!
6. Sleep. I cannot get enough. I would lie in bed for 14 hours a day if there were no consequences. I've done it even when there were.
7. Baby animals with round heads. No explanation necessary.

Want to play along?

Seven Deadly Sins: Day 5 - Greed

My birthday is this week, and so I decided to take time off from thinking real hard and give myself the gift of Star Trek, Chinese food, and vodka. That means that instead of real content, you get this Seven Deadly Sins internet meme. Enjoy!

Seven worldly material desires:

1. A swanky apartment. I would love to trade in my suburban split-rancher for a more appropriately sized apartment in a renovated warehouse with exposed brick and stylish original wood floors that I could clomp across in my high heels.
2. A Honda Fit. While it's certainly been a fun drive, my decidedly environmentally un-friendly 2002 Subaru WRX with its high maintenance costs and even higher fuel costs is no longer very practical. The Fit seems more my current style.
3. Super-long hair. But I want it to be mine, not extensions, so does this count? I need it to grow down to my ass and it's just not happening fast enough!
4. A million Glasslock containers. Because our refrigerator is an awful, mismatched, missized (is that a word?) food storage nightmare.
5. A Treadmill. I love to run, but I am the wimpiest runner in the world. I hate running in heat, cold, rain, wind or pretty much anything other than perfect, beautiful spring weather.
6. A set of these Eddy Stacking Wine Glasses to replace the oversized set of individual red wine, white wine and martini glasses that I have been breaking one by one.
7. A Roomba. Because vacuuming is my least favorite household chore. Also because robots are sweet, no doy.

Want to play along?

Seven Deadly Sins: Day 4 - Sloth

My birthday is this week, and so I decided to take time off from thinking real hard and give myself the gift of Star Trek, Chinese food, and vodka. That means that instead of real content, you get this Seven Deadly Sins internet meme. Enjoy!

Seven things I neglect to do:

1. Pee. I will hold my pee like it's my job just to avoid getting out of bed in the middle of the night. Whether it's cold or I'm super sleepy or just plain lazy, once I'm in, I'm in. This is probably not healthy at all.
2. Wash off my makeup. If it's been a long night, sometimes I'll just crawl right into bed and take my penance in the fresh crop of zits I'll have the next day.
3. Yard work. I am a magnet for mosquitos and poison ivy and sun burn and everything that is horrible about the outdoors. If it's bad and outside it will happen to me.
4. Floss. Because I'm gross and I hate it so I almost never do it and then I totally lie to my Dentist every time.
5. Bless people when they sneeze. Half because I think it's a stupid, obsolete tradition steeped in religious superstition and half because I just don't feel like it. Cram your own soul back up your nose.
6. Buy or send greeting cards. If I'm seeing you in-person for your birthday I will typically be there 15 minutes late because I'm winging through a drug store to buy you a last-minute card. Otherwise, you're just not getting one from me for any occasion. I intend to work on this one, because I feel like a jerk.
7. Return phone calls. I'm absolutely terrible at this. I hate voicemails and I will put off listening to them for days sometimes. If you need a quick response you're better off to email or text me.

Want to play along?

Hail to the Birthday Girl

Hello lovelies! I know I said I was running a meme this week and that was to be the extent of my blogging, but I just couldn't resist. IT'S MAH BURFDAY.

So I will be working pretty much all night, because that's what fab people do on their birthdays, obvi. But I learned a new thing today! I was already aware that I shared a birthday with Muhammad Ali and the amazing Betty White. Not bad birthday mates, I must say. But today (I'm not sure how it escaped me last year), I learned that I also share my birthday with gorgeous First Lady Michelle Obama.

So what, right? A lot of people share birthdays.

Here's the fun part. Chef Boyfriend shares his birthday with Barack Obama.

OOooooOOOOOooooOOOOooooo! So until Saturday, when we're actually celebrating my birthday, I'm calling him Mr. President and making him refer to me as the First Lady. Save your barfing. It's my birthday.

So that makes two things that we have in common with the First Couple. The other thing?

We are obviously classy as shit.

Seven Deadly Sins: Day 3 - Wrath

My birthday is this week, and so I decided to take time off from thinking real hard and give myself the gift of Star Trek, Chinese food, and vodka. That means that instead of real content, you get this Seven Deadly Sins internet meme. Enjoy!

Seven things that piss me off:

1. When someone walks slowly (on sidewalks, in malls, wherever) and is completely oblivious to the fact that they're holding up people behind them. I can tell when there is a person walking directly behind me and I move aside. YOU SHOULD TOO.
2. People who bring nothing but negativity to the table. I listened to you tell me why anyone and everyone other than you is horrible. Now tell me ONE THING that you think is awesome. JUST ONE.
3. Single-use products that are meant to break or wear out so that you have to buy more.
4. "Sales" where they jack up the retail price to make it look like you're getting a great deal.
5. Businesses that don't have a website. It's TWENTY TWELVE and at this point I don't even feel like a snob if you don't have a website and I pass you over for a company that does.
6. The rapid-fire phone call for no good reason. If you call me and I don't answer, I assume I am busy. If it's not an emergency and you continue to call over and over just to badger me into picking up, you're being a bully.
7. LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. FOR SERIOUS.

Want to play along?

Seven Deadly Sins: Day 2 - Envy

My birthday is this week, and so I decided to take time off from thinking real hard and give myself the gift of Star Trek, Chinese food, and vodka. That means that instead of real content, you get this Seven Deadly Sins internet meme. Enjoy!

Seven things I lack and covet:

1. I am devoid of coordination, balance and flexibility. I was always jealous of the girls who could do splits and cartwheels and one-handed backwards handsprings. I'm about as graceful as three-legged dog in a full-body cast.
2. I can't sing. Oh no, talented friends who want to drag me to karaoke, it definitely can be that bad. Instead of inheriting my mom's angelic singing voice, I got my dad's manly croak.
3. I also can't whistle. Nope.
4. I'm afraid of bright colors and patterns. Being a freckled redhead, I've learned to shy away from brights and stick to earth tones and neutrals that won't clash with my generally orange tone. I'm so jealous when I see a woman rocking a fuchsia dress or a loud, colorful pattern. I just don't have the guts.
5. I can't quote things. Most of my friends can rattle off lines (or entire scenes) from their favorite movies, tell you who said what famous thing and when, remember song lyrics line for line, etc. My brain refuses to allocate space to store these things and they go in one ear and get shoved right out the other side.
6. I have chronic bitchface. Don't get me wrong, I think that I'm rather passably attractive. However, I'm constantly told I look angry when I'm actually in a fabulous mood. I envy people who look friendly and approachable even when they're not smiling. I wonder how many people I've scared off by looking completely cantankerous.
7. I am not an early bird. I envy people who can spring out of bed before dawn, get an hour or two of reading or quiet meditation in, and then go attack their day with vigor. I am completely worthless before 10am no matter what I do, and after that my productivity directly correlates to the amount of caffeine in my system.

Want to play along?

Seven Deadly Sins: Day 1 - Pride

My birthday is this week, and so I decided to take time off from thinking real hard and give myself the gift of Star Trek, Chinese food, and vodka. That means that instead of real content, you get this Seven Deadly Sins internet meme. Enjoy!

Seven things I am proud of about myself:

1. I'm a good driver. I have no qualms about driving in any weather or on any road, and I can handle a stick-shift like nobody's business.
2. I'm in pretty good shape these days. I work out regularly and eat healthy, real food.
3. I'm a natural problem solver, like my dad. Put a problem in front of me and you bet your ass I'll sort it out, somehow.
4. I'm resourceful. If I can't solve the problem, I can find the person/place/thing that can.
5. I haven't eaten meat in fifteen years. I am proof that vegetarianism is perfectly healthy if armed with good information. Otherwise, I'd be dead, right?
6. I'm a sucker for the underdog. If you're a good person who's down on your luck, I'll give you the shirt off my back.
7. I'm a good cook. I'm no Julia Child, but what I do, I do well. My naan and tomato chutney are things of legends.

Want to play along?

Likes: America and also, cats.

I've already talked about how much I heart Freecycle. I've use it to give away all kinds of stuff, and I've gotten several useful things that people have offered, but the one aspect of Freecycle that I've completely failed at is making specific requests for items. I've done so exactly twice. The first time, I asked if anyone had some 5-pound hand weights, and what I received was a pair of 2.5 pound ankle weights. The second time, I asked for a couple of tennis balls and I received and entire bag of golf balls. I assume that this is a case of people tripping over themselves to be helpful and not fully reading my emails.

So I wonder how other people fare with their requests sometimes. Usually, the things people ask for are pretty normal. Crockpot, bike, kid's clothes, etc. Every so often, I see an unusual request and I'm tempted to email them a few days later and ask, "SO WHAT DID YOU ACTUALLY GET?"

A few weeks ago, someone posted this request to my local Freecycle group:

WANTED: Cat & Americana Decor Items 

Seeking the above home decor items you may have no longer needed or being used. Patriotic, Americana, & Cat Decor. Pictures, knick knacks etc. 

Thank you for your consideration!

I'm working on improving the tone of my vernacular. I have a tendency to come off as slightly abrasive. Can you believe it?! And so I did not respond with the following:

I have some cat knick knacks you can have but they are of persian cats which are foreign and so I think they hate America do you want them yes/no?

A quick Google search leads me to believe that this is obviously the perfect item. If you happen to have one of these things hanging around your house, I can put you in touch with someone who would be interested in taking it off your hands.

2012 New Year's Not-Resolutions

I'm not much for New Years resolutions. Sometimes I make them and sometimes I don't. I can't actually remember if I had one last year or not, so we can go ahead and call that particular goal a wash, whatever it was. As I've already set out to do 30 new things before my 30th birthday, I'm not really feeling like setting the bar any higher would be good for my mental state.

That said, I had some fitness goals for last year that I (mostly) met. Mostly it was just "workout a bunch", which I did right up until Thanksgiving and then ttthththtbtbtbtbbtttbbbbt. Which is to be expected, and I don't beat myself up over it.

I set some small, more specific goals for this year. I'm refusing to call them resolutions because they're mostly things that I'll do every day, not big scary end-game goals, and so if I don't hit the mark every day it's no big thing. And also because I'm 6 and I don't have to call them that if I don't want to.

• Take a vitamin every day. I've avoided this for no good reason. I picked these.
• Drink 3 bottles of water a day. I use my 27 oz. Klean Kanteen, so 81 oz. total, which equals about 10 cups for USians. I'm currently putting down about 2 bottles a day and working up to 3. I pee every half hour, which is sort of annoying.
• Lay off the sauce Monday through Thursday. This is purely a fitness goal. I drink a lot of my calories and I know it effects my endurance when I exercise. I have no desire to permanently abandon you, vodka.
• Work out 4 days a week for at least 30 minutes. Most of last year I was hitting 5-6 days a week for 45 minutes or more and I got sort of burnt out sometimes. I need to allow my body more recovery time so I don't burn out and quit.
• Earn my self esteem. This one is maybe the most challenging. What it means is that I have to earn any positive feelings that I have about myself by being awesome. No comparing myself to other people or tearing them down to build myself up.
• 
  

Did you set any resolutions (or not-resolutions) for this year?

Hellooooo 2012 + Late 2011 Recap (oodles of photos)

Hello internet! Welcome to 2012! We're on the slow march to the end of the world now, boy oh boy!

Are you ready for the apocalypse? I know I am! Make sure you have your clean underpants on. I mean, if clean underpants are a problem for you, you have until next December to work that out. Maybe add that to your resolutions? "Wash knickers on the regular", hmm?

So it occurred to me that I haven't really posted many photos of the recent happenings. Let's do that, shall we?

On Halloween weekend (Waaaaay back in October. I'm nothing if not timely.) we had a bunch of out of town friends come to visit us. Eleven friends, to be exact, seven of which were crashing at our house. We had planned to go out on the town, but then there was an unseasonably early blizzard, the cab companies shut down and no one could go anywhere. So we made the best of it, dressed up anyway and had what fun we could (a significant amount, it turns out) at our house.

Boyfriend and I planned nothing until a week before, so we went with the default for people who are bad at planning Halloween costumes in advance: Día de Muertos makeup.

Then, in November, our good friends Barry and Leah made a whole new person, which is really quite impressive.

And baby makes five! More photos of their beautiful family here.

Then there was that whole Christmas thing. We finally got a tree! On sale! Because it was the floor model! Can you tell that I am enamored with this tree?! I am enamored with this tree!

The kitties got some new toys, which obviously were a big hit.

And then New Years. I don't have any photos of that because we were both sick and snotty and gross so we stayed home. We ate a giant pile of sushi in bed and watched Fullmetal Alchemist on Hulu all night.

What have you been up to?