Perhaps you'll remember that, a few months ago, I participated in the Warrior Dash and had a romping good time. Perhaps you'll also remember that I signed up to become a St. Jude's Warrior and raise money for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital.
Now, I love St. Jude's. I think the work they do is amazing and you should all send them all of your money immediately. This is in no way a criticism of them or their work. Rather, it's a gentle suggestion that maybe... Well, you'll see.
A few days ago, I received this in the mail as a thank you for my participation.
It's a cylidrical piece of stretchy fabric. Across the bottom of the mailer, they've included helpful suggestions as to what you might use it for.
Sidenote: If you've ever wanted to know what I look like unshowered, with no makeup and wearing yoga pants, you're in luck! Jackpot!
SCARF. Hm. Ok, that's not so terrible.
HEADBAND. Uh. Alright.
MASK. I... guess.
Wait a minute... what's this?
TUBE TOP. Now wait just a minute...
Good grief, you've got to be kidding. No no no.
Friends, I am by no means a large person, and to strap myself into this thing I had to climb in feet first, hold my breath and make the kind of gyrations usually reserved for trying to escape a man eating snake. As you can see, that poor little praying child is stretched within an inch of his life. Immediately after taking this picture, I laid down and cut myself out of this thing because I'd lost feeling below the waist.
If I had to guess, I'd say this top is probably not projecting the image that such a charitable institution is going for. Because if I even try to stand up straight in this thing it turns into a belt. Yikes.
In closing, the moral of this story is... never wear free tubetops you get in the mail, I guess? I'm really not sure.
What's the most questionable freebie you've ever received?