In my bathroom, I had one of those things attached to one of the electrical outlets. You know, one of those things that you screw in in place of the faceplate, and it gives you six outlets instead of two. It was blue. I didn't put it there, as I've never had an occasion to plug in two things at a time in the bathroom, let alone six, so I guess it's always just been there.
Anyway, the blue thing died. Kaput, stopped working. And because I am training for the Procrastination Olympics, I ignored it for six months. I just used other outlets instead. I was afraid that the electrical underneath was bad, so I didn't remove the blue thing, because not knowing is half the battle, right? That's totally how it works.
So I have friends visiting soon, and it occurred to me that some of them might have personal care appliances that they needed to use, and so I got out my trusty screwdriver, removed the blue thing and tossed it away. I grabbed my blow dryer and plugged it into the underlying outlet and BEHOLD! It still worked. Yay.
But my house was built by marmosets without any proper plans or permits and the wiring was done by some dude they picked up outside a beer store who just wanted a few bucks to score a sixer. So the underlying outlet was all cattywampus, but I was pretty sure I could fix it.
Boyfriend, cautious soul that he is, insisted on turning off the power to the outlet before I began tinkering with it. He headed out to the fuse box in the garage, but returned only a moment later.
"Where's that paper that says which breaker does what?"
"It's not in the box."
The circa 1968 fuse list had apparently crumbled and vanished. So naturally, we Facetimed on our iPhones while Boyfriend flipped breakers in the garage and I sat on the bathroom floor waiting for the green light on my flat-iron to go off. Thank you, Steve Jobs!
But the wiring in my house, having been installed by a complete moron slash evil genius, spiderwebs in ways that wiring probably shouldn't. Upstairs bedrooms and basement heaters are on the same breaker. The waterheater breaker also controls the kitchen ceiling fan. I turn off the breaker for the washer and dryer and our poor neighbor can't power her vibrator. It's ridiculous.
None of the fuses in that fuse box turned that outlet off. Not one. I may never find out what is powering it, but I'm holding out hope for some kind of awesome lair or bomb shelter below the house that I've yet to discover. Or like... an underground Quiznos.
"I guess we'll have to call your uncle [the electrician] and have him look at it," Boyfriend said, trodding up the stairs.
"I fixed it."
"What do you mean you fixed it?"
"I just did it. I reached in there and fixed it," I said.
"You could have died."
"But I didn't, and..."
(Blowing it in his face just to prove it.)
"Now I can plug my blow dryer in over heeeeeeere!"
I tried to learn to knit once and in the span of about 12 hours I successfully knitted a very nice 4 x 4" square good for positively nothing. I quickly decided that it was not the craft for me. So, instead I settle for admiring the work of my successfully knitty friends and take comfort in reminding myself that it's one less hobby I have to buy supplies for.
So here is an awesome story:
Skeinz Yarn Store in New Zealand recently put out a call to knitters to help make tiny sweaters for penguins affected by the 2011 New Zealand Oil Spill:
As you may be aware the oil spill & potential disastrous effects to wildlife & environment off the coast of Tauranga is frightening. A small number of little blue penguins have already been caught in the oil spilled to date with growing fears that more will be effected. Skeinz has been asked to help with the penguin relief by knitting small Penguin PJ’s to help protect the birds & prevent them from preening their feather & ingesting the toxic oil. If you can help out by knitting a penguin jumper – send them to Skeinz at the address below[...]
But hold your horses, Skeinz says that the sweaters poured in and they were able to fill their penguin sweater quota in only a matter of days.
Isn't it nice to be reminded that people can be friggin' awesome? Yes, yes it is.
If you still want to make some Penguin PJs, Skeinz says that they have another rescue organization that would like to have the surplus sweaters, but you might want to drop them a line first and see if you should them directly to that group instead, as Skeinz seems a little overwhelmed at the moment.
Let's dive right in, shall we?
World's Largest Sperm Bank Says They Don't Want Your Ginger Sperm. Harrumph! But it's selling like hotcakes in Ireland, no surprise.
"God is the artist. I just find the ninja turtle in his work." - Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses
Parsing the Data and Ideology of the We Are 99% Tumblr to find out what they're after. Hint: It isn't what a lot of pundit blowhards would have you believe.
I do appreciate a great beard.
For those of us who love wine but find the snobbery surrounding it a smidge intimidating, here's a great one - How to Enjoy Wine, or True Things vs. Total BS About Wine.
File this under "I had no idea but I kind of love it" - Finland gives starter boxes of baby supplies to new moms. Makes my tiny heart swell.
I had no idea that a motion activated sprinkler could have so many uses! Hilarity.
With all the talk about the effect that sexed-up characters have on children (and little girls in particular), we usually don't even bother asking the kids what they think. This 7-year-old thinks they're totes lame, so that's encouraging.
Loooooooooved this story of (incredibly dangerous) human ingenuity.
Till next time, kittens!